It’s Sunday and I’m sitting here feeling happy, tired, and still a little dazed from last night. It was a big moment for me, and now that I’ve had some time to catch my breath and reflect, I want to share the story of my 400 needle birthday scene.
A lot went into preparing for such a big scene. In fact, the prep started long before the first needle went in. My Tops, Learningcurve and Fallen Nina, were nothing short of incredible. We had a conference call a few days before the party to go over every detail. We talked details of how it would all work including safety plans. We had plans A, B, and C, which made my Virgo heart ridiculously happy. What struck me most, though, was how much care, thought, and energy they put into planning this with me. They didn’t just agree to do it, they invested themselves in it. I knew I was in the most responsible of hands, and because of that, I trusted them completely.
I made sure I was ready for this. I made sure to get a good night’s sleep, stay hydrated, and eat properly. Mentally, I gave myself all the pep talks – reminding myself that I can do hard things, that I’m a badass, and that it was okay if I had to tap out early. My friends kept encouraging me too, making sure I never forgot that I could handle it.
The scene itself took place right in the middle of the Crucible, on the dance floor where everyone could watch. That kind of spotlight could have been intimidating, but the energy of the crowd turned it into fuel. Seeing all those smiling faces and hearing their cheers gave me the strength to keep going. It was like having an entire room of cheerleaders lifting me up with their energy. We had amazing support from Naught_y-n-Nice and Mrider22, who kept the supplies organized and handed off needles like pros.
We turned the whole thing into a game to keep it light. I would yell “Go!” and the Tops would start putting in needles until I squeaked my pink rubber chicken which was the signal to stop and the last Top to stop would get a “punishment.” At first, I held the chicken between my thighs because I needed to keep my arms out of the way. The position I was holding it in made it look like a pink rubber chicken dildo, which set off a round of laughter. The game gave me control – I could call for a break if I needed it – while keeping everyone entertained. Originally, the “losing” Top was supposed to get smacked with a stuffy, but somehow that quickly evolved into actual spanks from Fez’s big strong hand. Most of the time, it was LearningCurve bending over to take the hit while the rest of us howled with laughter. Thank you Fez for being a part of this scene and your support and joy.
A lot of people have wanted to know if the needles hurt. The truth is not every needle felt the same. Some spots stung more than others, but I never hit a wall where I felt I couldn’t keep going. Instead of dropping into subspace, I slipped into what I call Rara space, where the endorphins make me hyper, giddy, and buzzing with energy. The crowd added to it all, laughing at our antics, cheering me on, and even counting down the final twenty needles. When the last one went in, the room erupted into song with a chorus of Happy Birthday. It was surreal and beautiful all at once. Thank you Noire_LeGrande for being an amazing cheerleader and leading the crowd in cheers and applause.
When the final one finally slid in, I was in a bit of shock. It all happened so fast. We placed all 400 needles in just 35 minutes. Then the realization hit – I had done it. I had set a goal and reached it, and I had so much fun along the way. When it was all over – the needles removed and I was cleaned up – I curled up with my lovebug stuffy, some aftercare salami, and plenty of water. My Tops and I sat together, laughing about our favorite moments, processing what had just happened, and soaking up the glow. I talked with them about my gratitude to them for making this moment even better than I could have hoped for. I am so incredibly blessed to have these two amazing people in my life. I could not have accomplished this without their support.
I’m sure you are wondering why I did this. I certainly had moments questioning my choice to do this scene. But this really wasn’t just about needles. I chose to do this because I turn 60 this year, and honestly, I’ve struggled with that number. Sixty sounds old, and I sure don’t feel old. I wanted something that would challenge me, push me, and remind me that age doesn’t define what I can do. And that’s exactly what happened. This scene was a celebration of my body, my resilience, my community, and my joy. It reminded me that joy, laughter, and even a little pain are how I want to keep living, no matter what age I am.
I’ll be smiling about this memory for a long time, and every time I do, I’ll hear the laughter, feel the needles, and taste that celebratory slice of salami.